Why am I so bad at keeping friendships strong? I've had dozens, DOZENS of people I've hung out, yet the only ones I've managed to keep a strong, constant friendship with are Kate and Danielle, and usually Lacey.
I get tired of people so fast, and they get tired of me too. I hate it. I hated being that girl who was really annoying and everyone got sick of fast back in middle school, but at least I always wanted to hang out with people. Now, I just kind of sit, and wonder who I can hang out with that I'm not tired of at the moment. I don't know why I do it. I tend to hang out with someone once, and then hardly ever talk to them again, unless they go to my school.
I miss everyone. I miss Casey, I miss Jordan, I miss Michael, I miss Kenny, I miss Hannah, I miss Jessica C, I miss Alison, I miss Mariah, I miss Nichole, I miss Kenzie, I miss Shelby, I miss Kayla, I miss Sylvie, I miss Noelle, I miss Mary, I miss Aubrie, I miss Ashley, I miss Erin, I miss Tus, I miss Joey N, I miss Sienna, I miss Cheyenne, I miss Britny, I miss Chelsea, I miss Savannah W, I miss Jami, I miss Sydney, I miss Naima, I miss Julia L, I miss Sharon, I miss Rinnell, I miss Aleah, I miss Brittany, I miss Tyler, + MANY more who I can't think of right now.
I haven't seen about 3/4s of those people in way, way to long. And it's all because I'm so lazy.
I decided I wanted people who were GOOD friends, so I weeded out the people who told everybody's secrets and didn't really treat their friends that well...and lost a few people.
People wanted to weed me out THEIR lives, and they did....and I lost even more of those people.
I hung out with everyone at some point, then got to lazy to keep in contact with them that often...and lost just about all of the remaining people.
And now? I have almost no close friends anymore. They're all just people I talk to from time to time. I can hardly remember who the majority of my old, middle school friends were, since it's been so long.
I would have so many more friends if I just weren't so picky. Unless someone is an ULTRA close friend of mine, then I will judge them and not trust them if they tell me other peoples secrets, or talk shit about their other friends. Because if they can do that about other people, then what's to stop them to doing that about me? I know I have flaws, so I know there's a chance they would. I'm not stupid, I usually know when someone is going to hurt me. And to avoid that, I drop the person. Unfortunately, that backfired on me and I have almost nobody now.
I would still trust so many of my old friends, and tell them my secrets. I just need to see them all again :/
I need more friends please?
From what I've judged of you, (that's not supposed to sound....snobby?) you seem to have a big variety of people you hang out with. That's pretty cool that you can get close enough to various people quickly and start to hang out with them a bit. Its good cause it means, you can handle being around all different types of people and have things in common with each one of them. You can get past any difference with anyone and turn it into a friendship. It's too hard for me to get to know people enough to the point where I actually feel comfortable around them. I always feel fake when I hang out with people I don't really know cause that's how I act. You seem to be able to the basis of yourself around anyone, appreciate that characteristic in you.
ReplyDeleteThis kind of has to do with what you said in this post but not entirely. It's just something I noticed when I was looking through your face book pictures so I thought I'd say something about it.
Well thank you Cammisha! :D I think it's just cause I've hung out with such different groups of people throughout my life. You know?
ReplyDeleteBut variety is the spice of life, sooo I believe it's definitely useful to be able to get along with different types of people.
I feel like you would get along with everybody, since you're like reserved but still nice and friendly. And you laugh easily, which is pretty much golden when meeting someone new.
I feel the exact same way.
ReplyDeleteIts hard to make friends, and to build up a relationship with them strong enough that it wont wash away with a little bit of time.
I kind of just assume if a friendship is supposed to happen it will. so i have a difficult time putting in lots of effort towards friendships that are awkward and seem fake. but then i realize all friendships have to start out there..its the effort you put into it that makes it work....but its also hard to find someone who seems good enough to put lots of time and energy into..especially when you get as lazy as i do. Then i always seem to find it incredably disapointing when soemone you thought was worth the effort doesnt quite exert the same feeling..or effort to the friendship....
Because im lazy i usually just look past all of that and dont do anything...which lands me with no friends...
wow i just keep going. i was just gonna say i agreed.haha that didnt happen.
i dont even know if any of that made sense at all.
ReplyDeleteIt made plenty of sense, really. Thank you sooo much for understanding. I was kind of getting that feeling that I was just not fun to be friends with. It's nice to know someone else knows what I'm talking about. Thank you Sienna :]
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