Negative thoughts controlled my world

When we were talking on AIM a while ago, and I was explaining my situation to you, you told me to just ask you know who, "is ____ mad at me? Because she won't talk to me!" and then if she gave kind of a vague answer, for me to say, "well could you please ask her to call me or something? Cause I really want to talk to her." Thank you so much for that. Not just because it was good advice, but you opened my eyes to something. What you were suggesting just sounded so innocent, but at the same time, it wasn't a way to beat around the bush. It was just a way to ask what was up, and a way of asking for her to tell me the truth. And I hadn't done that kind of thing is quite a while. This probably makes no sense, and it might get a little more confusing here.

For the last several months, without it realizing it at ALL, I've subtly convinced myself that almost nobody is a good person, with some exceptions. That all boys are bad news. That I can hardly trust anyone besides you and about two other people, maybe one. That this world is way darker than it really is, and I should just rely on myself to get through it. Well, rely on you too of course (you're one of the few people who NEVER is subjected to my negative thoughts and paranoia about trusting). The best way I can describe this feeling is that all I've been seeing is blackness. Like my eyes were closed. I don't know why. I think it started when I noticed that a lot of people told secrets, and talked shit about their friends. For a long time lately, I've been using subtle, manipulative methods to find out things, and try and solve problems. Because I don't want to cause drama. That's pretty much the main reason. I don't want to cause fights or piss people off. I don't want to get in peoples faces. And that fear got way out of control, and became my main way of dealing with fights and problems.
When you told me, all casually and normal, to just ask, it was like my eyes were suddenly wide open. That's even more proof to me that you don't let any negativity in this world get to you, and that you do see good in everybody. The way you suggested that to me told me that you didn't think anything super bad would happen if I just asked, like, "what's the worst that can happen if she just asks?", while I had written off "just asking" long ago, without even knowing it. Because I had accidentally convinced myself that if I was that direct about everything, people would get annoyed, or mad, and something bad would happen. While you on the other hand, knew that most people are better than that, and it would go just fine and dandy if I just asked. And it did.

This has potential to become extremely long and complicated of a post, so I will just say this:
Thank you for reminding me (without even realizing it) to be upfront, and to just do what I need to. This is such a random time to post this, but really. Thank you.