Thursday, December 24, 2009

I tried to think of a depressing title for this, but laughed cause all the ideas were so cheesy.

You are so confusing. I'm telling you I have to go to bed as we speak, since talking to you is getting me so down right now. I hate overly flirtatious, overconfident boys, but right now it'd be useful. At least it'd be more clear. When I was flirting with you, you got all one-word-texter on me. And I asked if I was making you uncomfortable, and that sorry if I was, I was just kidding around. And you said, "alittle. its ok". Sounds stupid, but to me, that signifies that you officially don't like me. Since if you liked me, you'd have responded better. Right?... I'm honestly upset right now. Near crying. This happens way to often. I really like a guy, and think, "I'm finally gonna get a boyfriend again!"....and then it doesn't work out, and I get upset. I've liked you for soon to be a full semester, and I REALLY thought I had a chance. I won't list WHY I thought I had a chance, since I'll sound conceited. But I really did. I really, really did. And I tried sooo hard to get you. You're what I want in a boy. You're way respectful, you never make sexual jokes or anything about girls. I love that. A boy who isn't obsessed with boobs and sex. And one who I honestly thought I had a chance with.

Wrong as usual :'(


I sound so emo right now, I'm sure. But it's just so frustrating. I can be cute around a guy when I really like him. I can be funny, I can be nice. I don't mean to sound conceited, but yeah. I know my good qualities. So why why WHY did I get way more relationships when I was an annoying weirdo instead of now?


Michael, I'm reading your old blogs. I'm reading a survey you did in one on March 31st, and these made me laugh:

"Did you kiss anyone?
No

Did you do anything more than kissing?
Calm down"

"Pull any all nighters?
Caitlin and I sat by the fire and drank hot cider til 4:00 in the morning.


Get anything pierced?
My eye ball"


It's comforting reading peoples old stuff. I like knowing that everything turned out okay, before they technically did at the time.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Ughh!

I wish I could stop liking you, or that you'd let me know you like me back. You're so confusing. Although I think I subconsciously know you don't like me back. My mind is just trying to find any hints it can that you do return my feelings :/

I'm sure if I TRIED, I could get over you. But for now, you're all that really makes this fun...

Sunday, December 13, 2009

:]

Things are going pretty darn great right now. I hope it lasts ♥

Monday, December 7, 2009

Really?

Whenever I hear you talk about your boyfriend, I listen patiently. I don't like him, but I still listen. But when you say that dreaded sentence, "he's the only one I feel safe around anymore", I want to stop you cold and ask you what about your other friends? I'm not going to say, "what about me?" because I'm not your best friend or anything. But your best friend treats you great. She always listens to you, and I've never heard of her judging you. You've never said ANYTHING bad about her to me. It just seems like she treats you great. In fact, it seems like all of your friends treat you great. So why are you saying that? I think it's absolutely selfish when people say that about their boyfriends. You had friends before him, and you will when he's long gone. Stop making him seem like the only true person in your life, because there are others. And always will be others.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Alexander McQueen was born in another world, I've decided.







Incredible.



ps. I've decided it's time to purchase some ankle boots, but not NEARLY as insane as those of course! Maybe....?


I ♥ Forever 21 for being the stereotype "classy girl" store it is.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Five months

When you were in 7th or 8th grade, you told some people that your mom, and her mom, all got pregnant when they were 16 or so. And you jokingly told people that you wanted to be the first one to get pregnant at a better age. And now? You're 16, and pregnant.


I'm sad. Almost crying. You've come out about your secret, and I can guarantee people will be talking about it for the next couple weeks. It bugs me so much how people do that. They all gossip about personal things like this, and are so eager to spread it around. "Oh my god, did you hear she's pregnant??" Shut up, shut up, shut up :( I used to be one of those people, but then a girl got pregnant last year, and I noticed that a lot of people only talked to her when it was about the baby. They only seemed to care about her because she was pregnant. And behind her back, they'd gossip even more about it, and tell all their friends. Awful. I started thinking, really thinking, about how I'd feel if I got pregnant and people did that to me, and it affected me more than I thought it would. I don't do that anymore, and will try to never do it again. And I'm not even going to really talk about it when others are discussing it.

Maybe I feel this way because you and I are somewhat friends? You've slept over at my house, we have mutual friends. You're not just the random nice girl at my school who I've talked to a few times. I actually know you, and we actually go back to middle school. I care about you, and I don't think you deserve this shit at all. Ugh, I guess I am being kind of hypocritical writing a blog about this? But I'm not giving your name, or giving any hints, so hopefully it's okay. Anyways, I think you will be an incredible mom, and I honestly think your daughter is going to have an incredible life full of love and laughter, all thanks to you. I hope everything turns out alright.