Danielle

"The tenth day before I left
Everything was just fine
She must have waited to cave in
On that day nine
This severly effected the eighth and seventh night
But that still didn't make me feel like the time was right
To say goodbye

Say goodbye to you my friend
Say goodbye

Ten, nine, eight, seven
Sixth day before I left
We pretended things were fine
Even though the ninth day cave was acting as both our minds
Fifth day and counting
Well she found it astounding
When I told her I didn't want to miss her while she was in my surroundings
The fourth day was new with her
Same question asked again
Once you're gone how long til I get my depth perception back again?
At that I had the same flabbergasted face for most of the third and second days
The final day before I left came and i still had nothing to say"


"I'm weird 'cause i hate goodbyes
i got misty eyes as they said farewell"



It's Sunday. I've been fine these past couple weeks. I know you're leaving tomorrow morning, off for Texas. And I've been handling it quite well until now. I went to Siennas to give you the scrapbook I made with help from Lacey for you. You loved it, you kept saying, "I can't believe you made a scrapbook for me!" over and over. You said thank you, but I want to thank YOU for liking it so much. I was happy to give you something you loved before you left for good. It's still not good enough though. I think you deserve something way better for all the good you've brought into my life. The lessons you taught me. I know I've told you this more than once, but you've made the biggest difference in my life. I honestly don't think I'd be a very good friend if you weren't in my life. Like, you taught me not to talk bad about my friends when we were in 7th grade. I remember I was venting about someone to you on AIM, and you said, "well she's my friend so I can't talk crap about her, but I'm sorry that sucks. I hope things get better". I don't really know anyone else who has actually said, "so and so is my friend so I can't talk crap about them". Everyone else tends to just say like... "I love so and so, I don't wanna say anything about her since she's my friend, but she is pissing me off so much lately..." blah blah blah. Well there are exceptions, but those are to complicated to explain. I really looked up to you, I still do, so that's how I learned that. I know, every time I tell you how you've helped me, I always use that as an example. But it's one of the first things that comes to mind.

I should think of something else for once.

I'd be a lot more upset about this, but I keep reminding myself that you can probably visit every single break. Winter, spring, and probably most of summer. I hope you can, and as selfish as this sounds, I hope you don't change. You're such a good person. SUCH a good person. You give off the most positive aura at times, I love it. You're a walking talking ball of energy and life. You don't let anyone corrupt you, or ruin your life, you just let them in it for good reasons. You're just you, your existence has never been linked to someone else. You're not, "so and so's little sister", or, "so and so's friend". You're just you. I've never once thought of you as just another person, except for when I didn't know you and you were just that random girl in my 7th grade science class. I'm so glad we became friends, all over AIM too. And then we actually started hanging out in person and such, and you became one of my best friends.
Now, you're like my other best friend. And you're moving to Texas tomorrow.


I'll miss you so much, I already do. I think I'll start crying, I'm already misty eyed writing this. When you gave me that last long hug, I started tearing up, but held it back. I asked you to please bring me presents on a horse and in a cowboy hat for Christmas, so I'm glad there was some humor in that last goodbye haha.


I love you and will miss you. I hope Texas treats you well, and you find happiness there. You deserve it.
<3

:]

I've come to realize that I tend to only write in here when something is wrong, or to complain about something.





So here is a happy post.
Everything is going good right now, so far anyways. Not just good, GREAT. I love it. I love this weather, I love my friends, I love my family, I love my days. I love this summer.
Hopefully it will continue being so good :D

"Why do I tire of counting sheep?

Ten million fireflies
I'm here because I hate goodbyes"



Ugh.
I texted you, tried the only way I could at the moment to see if things could be fixed, or if they were even broken at all.
But no reply.
I can't help but wonder if you didn't get it, or just didn't want to reply.
I really hope you won't talk to me about it in person. I'm so emotional, if we get into a big hard talk about our problems, then I'll cry. And won't be able to talk. I'm not the only one who's like this, I know so many other people. It's not like I'm to big of a pussy to talk out stuff in person. But I've learned that when it comes to big fights and talks about problems, I tend to cry really easy, and it gets hard to speak. So the talk doesn't actually go anywhere :/


Maybe I just need to wait?

Just go, just go

I'm scared/nervous, but I have to do this. I feel like our friendship is doomed to this weird tension forever if I don't. Texting you now, since I can't see you in person.



Here goes...

"We sailed from where we once begun."

I know this probably sounds super lame and like Myspace is my life or whatever


....but it's really comforting seeing myself still on your top 8 :]]] Makes me feel like we're still just as good as friends despite our lack of communication lately.


I'm going to call you tomorrow and ask you to hang out for the first time in a while <3
Miss you Kenny!

Awww

I'll be surprised if that doesn't make you smile a least a little :)








July 27th will not be a good day. I'll miss you so much :'[

"If you have one true friend, you have more than your share." - Thomas Fuller

I have the perfect best friend. Yes, go ahead and say that about yours all you want. But basically everybody I've met, they have a best friend who talks shit about them, lies to them, is mean to them, or just doesn't treat them good. I've met a few exceptions of course. I can't tell you how much I love it when I see two best friends who treat each other wonderfully and keep each other safe from the hellish blizzard of drama that school and normal life brings. It's so nice to know that these people have at least ONE person who will always be a sort of sanctuary from the poison around them. Who sincerely enjoys being around them, stands up for them, always gives good advice, always cares in general, and is just good to and for them.
That is exactly what a best friend should be. They shouldn't be the thorn in your side, they should be the kind person who pulls it out (I hope that doesn't sound to stupid haha). But you know what I mean? When you have one of those days when a couple friends screw you over, but it feels like EVERYONE has, and you wonder who you can trust...your best friend should be the first person to come to mind. If you can't trust your best friend, they shouldn't be your best friend. Search elsewhere, there is one out there. But if your best friend doesn't screw you over, then you scored big time. And should never let them go.

Which brings me to the point of this: today, July 3rd, 2009, my best friend Kate Elizabeth Landon turns 16. We've been friends since girl scouts in about 1st grade. We're juniors now. That's ten years of knowing each other. Ten years of talking, laughing, telling stories, and sharing memories. Ten years of fun, fun, fun. Ten years of friendship.
AND I get to call her my best friend. Come on, knowing each other for ten years AND getting to be best friends? That's time and friendship in the same thing. How much better could you get? :]]]
Since we have a habbit of reminding each other how much we mean to each other on our birthdays, I'm going to keep that going this year. And I'm putting it in my blogspot, since we both loooove writing in these things, and agree these are incredible helpful for our sanity at times. I don't mean to offend any of my other friends in this by the way, so if you read it, please don't be upset or offended. I don't mean to make it sound rude. Here goooooes!


Dear Kate Landon!

You are the best friend I have. I will say that right now. No offense to my other friends, but you're my best friend so you're just special. I have told you that plenty of times, in person and through texting/myspace/AIM, all that. And I mean it. Every. Single. Time. There are so many things you do for me and our friendship that I adore. I'm pretty sure we have both tried to list every single thing, and it's never worked. There are to many small things to list, and it's to hard to list every single big thing. So, these are my favorites :]

You don't talk bad about me, ever. You keep every single secret I tell you. You are always always always nice to me. You don't even make mean jokes to me, which I honestly appreciate (those things just get to you after a while, you know!). You always have the perfect, nearly flawless advice for any situation. And you always make me feel better, or at least try. Even if you have no idea who the people I'm talking about are, or don't really get the feel of the situation. You almost always let us sleep over at your house, even though I know you like despise staying at your house half the time and we have fun at mine even though I always insist it's boring and has no furniture (I stick with my furniture argument however ;]). You are always fun to be around, even if you're tired or grumpy. Even if we're not really talking or laughing, I always love being around you simply because you're such an amazing, good friend to me, and it's just awesome knowing there's still at least one person who I know genuinely cares about me. I hope I don't sound conceited saying that hahaha. But you know what I mean. I think it's really cool and patient of you to let me show you 9573475438 videos on youtube when we both think it's annoying when people are like, "OMG WATCH THIS VIDEO IT'S SO FUNNYYYYY", or let me show you a million songs I like that you don't always end up liking. It's really sweet of you to tolerate that, and I seriously appreciate that so much. Thank you thank you thank you :]]] I'm one of those people who sometimes goes crazy showing people stuff that I like, and I know it get annoying. I wanna thank you very much right now for tolerating that and being patient.


Thank you so much for not talking shit about me, or telling my secrets. We're able to complain about other people to each other, and we've traded secrets to each other, but we (or at least I, hopefully you too) don't do this while wondering, "is she doing this to me behind my back?". Nope. I don't know about you, but I don't think twice about it. You're the special friend that I don't worry about getting back stabbed by. There are plenty of people who I've felt like don't genuinely like me, or who I KNOW talk bad about me (sometimes on their accord, sometimes just joining in with others) or tell my secrets (whether it be to someone who they're barely friends with, or to THEIR special best friend). But you are not one of them. I completely trust you, and would trust you with my life :] I am able to confidently know that if someone says something bad about me to you, you will stand up for me. And you know I do the exact same for you, so I am assuming we are all good on that. And I KNOW that you don't repeat any secrets of mine to anyone, even Amanda. Which means a lot, if you don't repeat them even to her, because she is your other best friend. No offense meant to Amanda in this, don't worry! Anyways, you know trust means a lot to me. And it's one of the best things about our friendship, that I can trust you. And I assume you know that you can trust me, because you are one of the people I would never, ever want to screw over. Ever. So thank you :]]]

You're always willing to explain things to me. Your stories that I'm to dumb to understand, complicated jokes, or just weird stuff. You NEVER blow me off with a, "never mind, I give up" or a, "just forget about it", or, "whatever, it's not important". Because you know how curious I am and it would possibly drive me crazy later. You never make me feel like I'm not important to you (I make us sound like such lesbians haha), or like you don't really give a crap about me. Ever since we had that huge talk about our problems in 7th grade (aka the last time we had something that even resembled a fight), I have not gone through one day in my life feeling like you wouldn't be there for me. Which is IMPRESSIVE because you definitely know how needy and whiny and sensitive I am when it comes to even the smallest signs of "friend rejection" or whatever you wanna call it. I hope I am making sense, I'm listening to music while I write this and tend to kind of not make sense when I do that. Hot Air Balloon by Owl City, good song ;] Anyways, I can honestly say the only times I've ever felt like you don't want me around nowadays are when I like run over to when you're with your friends. But then again, your friends (you know who) and I don't quite get along so that is actually quite understandable haha.

Hmm what else. Oh right, we can talk about ANYTHING. A lot of best friends say that, but I bet they'd be to wussy to do PWYR's ;] It's like there's no topic off limits for you. I love how you will literally talk about anything. Stuff that most of my other friends would get either grossed out by or wouldn't care about. That's like the coolest thing, knowing, "so and so won't be into discussing this with me, but I can talk to Kate about it next time we hang out!" So great. You're not awkward, I'm totally comfortable telling you anything. YOU NEVER JUDGE ME OMG. I love that part! I know that I can tell you seriously anything and you won't be like, "Hilary told me blah blah blah....it was kind of...weird." to your friends the next day. I can't handle when people do that, and I know you don't like it either.


So thank you very, very, very, very much, for never judging me, or making me keep something pent up inside that I want to get out. Thank you for always listening. I'll say it again, because that's one of the best things you do for me. Thank you for always listening. Thank you for always listening. Thank you thank you thank you for always listening.

:]]]


I will always return the favor. Okay? I made that green so you'd read it again, because I mean it. Even if we stop being best friends for some reasons, and become just normal friends, I will always be there to listen without judging. I promise.

Thank you for always laughing with me at the worst things that make us feel like horrible people for laughing at, like Smeagol being a jew, or "the retard walk" (you might not remember that one!). Thank you for saying, "we are horrible people!" when I'm to lazy too. Thanks for laughing, whether it's real or fake, at 90% of my lame jokes. And of course, thank you for making ME laugh, especially when I really need it. Thank you for never saying things like, "Hilary...come on, don't say/do that, that's mean" when I'm being a bad person, and thank you for instead just laughing or joining in with me.

Thank you for being an introvert, and not showing that many people your true colors easily...because if everyone saw how fun and cool you were all the time, there would probably be a lot more competition to face when I want to hang out with you. I sound like a total best friend hog saying that, but I'm sure you know what I mean!


Thank you for being one of the biggest comforts in my life. I probably sound kind of creepy saying that but you know what I mean haha. Whenever I'm in a stressful situation, or in a fight with someone, I just have to think, "I can call Kate later and vent to her about this" and I feel a little better. Even if I never actually end up calling you. Did I mention you're amazing at making me feel better? You always know exactly what to say. You ALWAYS take my side, which is almost always exactly what I need. Sometimes, I know I end up taking the other persons side when you take mine. Like I'll be in a fight with someone, and you'll be like, "well they're just being immature! You did the right thing" or something. And sometimes, I'll be like, "well yeah but I did kind of do it without their permission." I'll take their side even though I basically asked you to take mine, you know? This is probably making no sense. But if you're understanding this, just know that I appreciate when you tolerate me being all complicated like that. You never get all annoyed, you just keep going. I love that, thank you sooo much. Also, you never have to pressure me into telling you what's wrong, because I completely trust you with whatever is going on. If I got pregnant, or got an STD or something, you'd be the first person I'd tell, and I probably wouldn't even have to tell you not to tell anyone because you're smart and use your logic to figure out if I'd appreciate you telling someone or not. And I know you wouldn't judge me! You're always so helpful and sincerely try to think of a good solution. You also tend to give new, original advice that I haven't heard before. You're the one who told me that amazingly helpful, "when in doubt, apologize" bit. That's helped me save so many friendships, it's insane. You might not realize this, but you helped me realize that pride doesn't mean anything when it comes to saving friendships. That I should always just apologize. Just like Danielle helped me realize that I should never talk bad about my friends, you showed me that amazingly useful piece of advice. THANK YOU!


So, there you go. Those are my favorite things about you that I've seen over those 10 years of friendship. You sincerely care about me, you tolerate all my flaws and annoying moments, you don't judge me, you listen to me, you don't lie or talk bad about me, you're never mean to me, you laugh with me, you give me advice, you're just really good to me. My parents always say how, "they love Kate!" when you're mentioned, and I'm really glad my parents see how good of a friend you are too even though I tend to roll my eyes when my dad asks constantly if we're still friends if I haven't mentioned your name in two weeks haha. Our friendship, like almost all others, has small flaws. We don't hang out as much as we'd like to, and we get annoyed with each other from time to time. But hey, I'm a hard person to handle sometimes, so you get the biggest pat on the back ever for being able to tolerate me as a best friend :P Thank you so much for still wanting to hang out with me after all these years, even though I'm sure I'm not always super fun to be around. So basically, I'm gonna say what I've said to you for past few birthdays: I love you, and deeply appreciate you, and you are my best, best, best friend. Forever <33
Happy birthday!
:DDDD











"A best friend is someone who knows all about you... and loves you anyway."

Pull your head out from the clouds for a minute

I got a few new "tagged photos" requests today from you. All of them were super old pictures of us from last year. You've put up SO many pictures like that of us, and do it so randomly too. We haven't even hung out since like last summer either, so it's just odd. All I've gotta say is you need to stop living in the past! We used to be friends, I let you go because you were toxic though. You told a lot of secrets, and talked bad about a lot of your friends. And even worse, you sucked me into it so I joined in. But then I realized how bad it was getting so I stopped talking to you and focused on finding out who my real, good friends were. Stop talking about all the "old times you miss". Go make some new ones with the people are your friends now! Please. It bothers me how you're constantly dwelling on old pictures of us and putting them on your Myspace. Neither of us even really look like that anymore. I'm not doing this to be mean, I just feel kind of bad because you should be in the warm, sunny outside with the friends you still have instead of sitting on your computer missing the old days.
Please. I still want you to be happy at least...