I realized that money doesn't make me happy today. Maybe it's the mood I'm in, kind of numb, or maybe it honestly doesn't. It stresses me out so much lately. With the whole economy crash coming, it's getting a bit tight. My mom said we're doing okay, but....I dunno. I'm just worried. Shopping freaked me out. Paying for stuff stressed me out. Why is everything so expensive? It's awful.
1. You're amazing, I'm so excited for tuesday. You have no idea. I'm so emotional lately, and making plans to hang out with you like old times made me almost cry last night, as creepy as that it haha. You're just so fun to talk to and stuff. I miss you!
2. I don't really want her to come back. I know she's your true best friend, in that deep way, and you miss her a lot. But I'm just scared we'll stop talking as much like we did when she was here. I guess it's not her coming back that I'm scared of. It's of the possible change :[ We've gotten so close ever since she left! We already were, but like we actually talked and hung out every week. Anyways, I love you soooo so so so much and would do anything for you <3333
3. When you started dating him and kind of became a member of that "group", I felt like you somewhat ditched me and your best friend for them. I was wrong, you didn't really. I just needed to try harder to see you and talk to you, because I've gotten lazy this year and didn't really notice. I don't know why, but I feel like we're connecting again and I'm happy :] Just be careful with them. It'd break my heart if they did to you what they did to a certain friend of theirs ex girlfriend (now girlfriend again) :/
4. When was the last time I saw you?
5. You seem to kinda fake actually. You always seem to think I'm really cool? But you never want to hang out with me, just kind of act like you do. Seriously, just find a way to gently tell me if you don't want to. I can deal.
6. You were really boring last time I saw you, and you always get me into talking crap about people, which I'm trying very hard not to do this year.
7. Last year, you were sooo mean. You almost made me cry a few times from frustration or hurt feelings. But you've gotten so much nicer this year, I THINK. I have only hung out with you like twice but you were much nicer those two times. I think you should be very proud of yourself for becoming a better person. And you were always there for me last year, I remember you were like my angel. I miss you :[
8. You used that amazing, beautiful girl as your rebound girl between like all of your girlfriends. Including me. Shame on you!
9. YOU'RE that amazing, beautiful girl, and I mean that in the non lesbo way. We're really not that great of friends, but you are such a good person. I've heard a couple people say you talk weird and stuff, but I think it's cute so don't worry. You're such a good, pure person. I admit I judged you at the start of the year, but then got to know you. People like you keep the world going round. I know for a fact I could trust you, and tell you stuff without you judging me. You're different that a lot of cal young girls, in a good way. I sound so creepy right now, but it's true. Never change <3
10. You are so sweet! It's amazing to have a friend who shares my religion <3333
11. You seem to have a lot of friends, but you say you trust nobody. Why?
12. You are amazing. We only hung out once but I had fun! I think you are completely right saying that you're your best hero. You are such a strong, confident girl, and don't let anything bring you down for more than a day. You will go so far in life, I can see it. I trust you, by the way :]
13. I miss youuuu. We used to talk so much. Come back into my life. I love how you laugh at everything, it's such a self esteem booster. Hearing from him that you missed me and I was a cool friend made my night.
14. I know this is the stupidest thing to complain about, BUT STOP ADDING ME. You'll probably never read this, but seriously. I drew away from you for a reason: you talked way, way, WAY to much crap about people. Even about your "best friend" Rinnell. You're the soul reason I had a bad opinion of her and talked shit about her. Thanks a fucking lot. I could have been friends with her way earlier if it wasn't for you and your lies. I know you talked shit about me, so I backed off. And of course, being you, deleted me off myspace. And now you can't lurk me any more because I know that's just what you'd do if I accepted you: lurk my page, look at my pictures, and talk shit about me to your current "bestie". Just like you did with me to other people.
I feel pathetic and lame talking about this, but it's true. Ughhh.
I want to go work out soon. I LOVE WORKING OUT. I've been trying to do it every night lately. Every time I do this kind of thing though, it lasts about a week then fizzles out. I hope it doesn't happen this time. I'm getting so much fat on my tummy, I want to burn it off so bad. So I've been working out in my room every night. It's so nice, blasting my iPod on my iPod speakers, and doing ab workouts on my bed and then running in place. It's fun :]
Let's hope I can keep it up.
I'M SO BAD AT FRIENDSHIPS THIS YEAR, OH MY GOD. I'm bad at life this year. I hang out with so much less people this year. I used to be friends with so many different people, but this year I suck at it. Case in point:
See? People don't think I care about them anymore because I don't talk to, like, ANYONE, unless they're in my classes. I'm just so lazy. I was a zombie at the start of this year, and now it's like I'm just numb. Maybe because it's winter? And I have Seasonal Affective Disorder? Hopefully I will get better in the spring. I miss summer so much, I don't wanna go back to school yet.
Anyways
if you feel like we're not really friends anymore this year, then I promise it's not on purpose. I'm just being so lazy and weird. I'm not a very cool person this year I think. Well, better than last year haha but this year I just don't make an effort for friendships. So if you feel like distance has grown between us, I'M SO SORRY. Just give me time. I'll make it better.
Well it's time to take my birth control, for my acnea.
Bye!
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