Monday, February 15, 2010

Lasting effects

Last night, as I tried to get to sleep, I found myself remembering that one time again. A year ago, when you slept over for the first time, and I read your texts. Your "phone was acting weird" and had "deleted some of your sent texts", but all I had to do was read your inbox to know what you had been saying. I saw texts saying things like, "okay bye, tell me if you get raped!" and "I'd be scared too. Hilary's kind of a creeper lol"
Two or three texts, that's all it took, and I've been traumatized ever since. I probably sound overdramatic, but if that's not it, then why have I been uncomfortable around all girls ever since? The stuff your stupid bitch friends (and you, probably) said hurt me so bad, and I'm still not over it. I get uncomfortable and nervous if I'm closer than a foot to a girl (mainly straight ones). I have this permanent phobia now that every girl is going to think I'm hitting on them, or that I want to rape them or whatever. I hate it so much. I think about that night all the time, and I've definitely cried over it. I wish I could just forget about it, I didn't even really like those girls that much. I guess it really just hurt because I know YOU, one of my close, trusted friends, was saying stuff like that too. That's the worst part.

I hope I'll get over it someday.

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