"Tears make a thirsty girl"

1. You once told me one of the things I did that annoyed you most was how often I brought out yearbooks to look at with you (which I can ASSURE you was because you often talked about people I didn't know so it was handy to be able to look them up). It affected me so much, since that was one of the last things I expected you to dislike about me, much less include in your talk to me about the stuff I did that bugged you. It was like a hit I wasn't expecting, which is why I'm still affected by it. I hardly even noticed that I did it, and then BOOM, it's one of the things about me that you really don't like. Last night, I looked at two of them from Monroe. I ALWAYS find it interesting to see how people have changed since then. You may have made me incredibly self conscious of doing it, but that won't squash my love for it. Anyways, there is no fucking escaping you. Inside jokes with you were written on every other page. "Passport" and "WE ARE CRUMPETS" are the two I remember the most. I had completely forgotten about "passport". We got it from the movie Sneakers, which Mr. Stevens made us watch. I burst out laughing when I saw it and began to text you about it, but as soon as I finished typing, "Hahahahahaha so I was looking at our 8th grade yearbook" I stopped and immediately felt a pang of depressing realization that any mention of yearbooks was off limits to you. I feel like I can't tell you I was looking at them, ever. Because it seems like you think I live in the past to much, I guess. Maybe I do? Not that I don't like my life now. But the past always seems so much more colorful than now does. And fun. Plus, I've never adored change much. And back then, I had nothing much to worry about. That's not the whole reason, of course. I'll remind you again that I simply like seeing how people have changed. Anyways, I exited out of the text, feeling sad. I remember telling you sincerely that when you were ready to be friends again, I would be happy to comply. But you obviously don't, and your world has moved way way wayyy on by now. I accept that, at least I think I do. But I still teared up when I saw your 8th grade picture, and pictures of you in general back then. I wish you hadn't hurt me so much :[ I still miss you, and look at me now. Making blogs like this about you for the world to see. I'm so fucking sorry, I'm so so so fucking sorry. I wish I could make myself be more mature about this, but I just need to get it out.. I'm crying a little bit writing this, moving on.

2. I just went in your room about ten minutes ago, looking for socks (mine always go missing and mom told me to look in your drawers). I teared up a little, I always do when I go in there now. Even though you like NEVER talked or interacted with us, I still get sad knowing you're miles away, and will probably never move back home.It's also depressing how much you left here. DOZENS of books, clothes, etc. Like you're just away at a friends. It's weird how you're finally out beginning your life, but it actually looks like you left your life here.

"Journey into the people"

Oh my god, I'm watching videos we made together, while dancing and just hanging out to Eiffel 65, and it's making me miss you SO much.